shoes9f9k
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True Religion Flare Mens DEALING WITH BULLIES |
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Growing up, I was taught to be an open and honest communicator. It was anticipated. It was anticipated that whether you had a problem, or if you had a conflict, that you discussed it. You didn't whine about it. You didn't sweep it below the carpet. And,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you didn't act passively aggressively. Instead, you talked it out, you explained how you felt and you came up with ways to fix it or handle with it. Although as a child there were times that I thought our family did also many communicating, I now pride myself in being open, honest and forthright.
Mutual Respect: If you board on an open dialogue with something, make sure that either of you respect an dissimilar. If a person doesn't respect you, talking to them may fall on unconcerned ears, and you may detect yourself in a worse off location.
Be Prepared: If you attempt to determination a conflict, prepare yourself for the likelihood of it not working as you would expect. Otherwise, you may not get all that you ambitioned out of the conversation. Create a account of the entities you
Tom was given the award of closure; he got to express anything he felt. I on the additional hand, didn't obtain to express many of anything and as a result, was left feeling even aggravate than I did before the debate. In hindsight, I feel that I left it all on the chart, without any recourse alternatively competence to defend myself. I feel that I gave him an opening to put me down and to belittle me. And, I feel that he completely took advantage of me and the situation.
Recently, however, my faith in open communication turned against me. Over the final couple of months,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I had noticed that my colleague (let's phone him Tom) started acting distant and dismissive. As peers, my work and his work needed to be integrated to get the job done. Yet, I often felt as whereas he wasn't respecting me or including me in essential discussions that were vital to the work we were act. It became clear that it needed to be addressed, and I told him in a couple of ways, that I'd obliged if he would assure that I was part of these discussions. Ignoring these requests, Tom started exhibiting passive provocative tendencies towards me and it was starting to affect the direction we worked attach. Finally, one interaction pushed me over the brim,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], causing me to want to residence the situation instantly. I discreetly dragged Tom aside and told him that I detected someone was bad. Trying to be acute to Tom's feelings and to lest putting him on the defensive, I put the responsibility on me at saying that I hoped that I hadn't done anything to offend him. This plan backfired.
Although I believe that open communication is the key to successful relationships, this interaction made me realize that it doesn't go with everybody. Although I do calculate speaking with Tom was better than not saying anything by all, it apparently didn't realize what I had hoped it would.
There were a lot of asset left unsaid, and I so hope I could have another opportunity to acquaint Tom what I really think. Instead, I must let it go. Letting go is SO hard! Especially when you feel that you've been beat-up with no ability to defend yourself. The merely thing you can really do in these situations, I guess, is to study from them, so that perhaps history doesn't repeat itself. Here were the courses I learned:
Instead of taking my gesture as one beginning apt an genuine two-way talk, Tom accustomed this opportunity apt tease me. I patiently heard until it was manifest he was through, making sure namely I let him entirely express himself. When he was done, I pardoned because how he felt and started to annotate how I was consciousness. He fast made it explicit that he didn't attention. All of the feelings I had been consciousness as the better portion of two months, were completely dismissed. Further, he was quick to let me kas long ashe had no purpose of catching whichever duty for anyone part of the situation, implying namely the problem was entirely my fault. I came away feeling stomped on, deflated and disrespected. Not quite the outcome I had hoped for.
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