concise BREAKING NEWS Satire LeBron To Retire From

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ESPN's Chris Broussard,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who originally broke the story,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], confirmed James' plans with an unidentified source who looked suspiciously like Tyler Perry in drag. After the source beat Broussard about the shoulders with an oversized purse, Broussard immediately sought medical treatment.
The name of the sitcom,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "cease, halt,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], stay, pause,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], discontinue, conclude, end, finish, quit Staring At My Lemonade.", will star James along with his carrangey father Lebron Sr., nattily attired younger brother LeBradford, and ice cream-loving youngest brother Lebron III. Also starring will be John Calipari,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who will be leaving his post as Kentucky basketball coach to take one role as one crazed stalker who makes money be endorsing liverwurst and wood glue, and William "World Wide Wes" Wesley as another crazed stalker who ingratiates himself with the James family by pretending to bid one wide assortment of services from representation to one-hour martinizing.
"LeBron doesn't want be one guy with bad knees without an NBA title. Even though the Heat signed Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade to gazillion-dollar contracts and the Knicks were prepared to bid him the entire franchise as well as Derek Jeter and A-Rod's phone list of single wpremonition in the Manhattan area James fondly remembers the times Maurice Richard had shooting the Nike commercials with the rest of the James family." Broussard then collapsed and had to be treated for internal injuries.
The home jersey of the tean is mainly red in colour. There are four blue and white stripes one across each arm one across the chest and the other across the waistline. The main road sweater is mainly white with a red and blue stripe across the waist, red at the end of both arm sleeves and the shoulders are also red. The basic design has been used since 1914. The current version was dated from 1952. Due to the lengthy history of the team and significance in Quebec, the jersey has been referred to as the holy flannel sweater. Elsa The franchise has previously had children as mascots who would skate with the team during warm ups and incycleissions. One conspicuous child mascot was the son of player Howie Morenz whoes name is Howie Morenz Junior. Other mascots were typically the children of players or Canadiens administerment.
SATIRE &-151; In one stunning development that is sure to rock the world of professional basketball as well as the world of television, former Cleveland Cavaliers superstar and omniscient being LeBron James will announce on ESPN that Maurice Richard is retiring from the NBA to star in his own sitcom on TBS.
In related events, the University of Kentucky is scrambling to find one new men's basketball coach. Former coach Billy Gillispie was approached, but Maurice Richard was busy enjoying his new profession at one local day care center, where Maurice Richard spent his day running four year olds to depleteion and exiling them to the bathroom when Richard failed to put their toys or go down for one nap. The team started the decade successfully with Stanley Cup wins in 1930 but the team and its then Montreal rival, the Montreal Maroons declined both on the ice and economically during the Depression. Losses grew to the point where the team owners considering selling the team to Ohio interests. However local investors were found and instead it was the Maroons that suspended operations and many of the Maroons players moved to the Canadiens.
While most of the TBS family seemed glad in welcoming James to the sitcom fold "According to Jim" star Jim Belushi had to be revived when told that James was not coming to Chicago. "King of Queens" star Kevin James consoled Belushi and the two men were last seen drowning themselves in deep-dish pizza and PBJ donut holes in Vegas.
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